poeticsofdescription

and i don't have car insurance either.

i am so frusterated! on december 10th, there is a festival in san francisco called 'not so silent night' and modest mouse, muse, interpol and others are playing. tickets have been sold out for awhile, but i had the opportunity to get some, and i really want to take my sister heidi, as a christmas present to her. she and i have that connection of appreciation for music and i wanted to do something seemingly rather big for her. i've seen so many great bands play, she has seen maybe.... two. since she's not 18 yet, and so few shows are "all ages" anymore, we rarely get this opportunity. so i raced over to work and saw that i had a four hour shift that day. jim said he would gladly take it for me, so i approached my manager, and asked if she would mind him taking my shift for me. she asks "what for?" i explain that i really want to take my sister to this festival as a christmas gift to her, it was really important. she looks at me and says "ummm.... no." what? "no, i can't let you." is this because it is my friday shift? or do you not want jim working it? "no, only if it were an emergency. i don't want anyone trading shifts."
i seriously couldn't say anything. i never thought she would say no.
i freaking hate my stupid job sometimes. i can't just call in sick or not show up now, and it is so entirely not worth the 50 bucks i'll get in four hours to miss the show. the politics of that place piss me off and i would just find another job but i have been with the company so long now that there is no way anywhere else could pay me better. and i really do love my job most of the time. well, i loved it in seattle, i don't so much here.
if there were any possible way i could be my own boss i would do so. i need to explore that option more. i need to just start the record label i have for so long now been saying i want. i need to just start DOING.
it isn't that she said "no" that frusterates me. its that she had the option.

posted by nina @ 5:53 PM